Change your emotions, change your ride!

The most important life lesson I have ever learned from horses is how the only thing that matters is being in the present. Detaching entirely from your thoughts of the past or your thoughts of the future like they never existed and just observing the now exactly as it is without attachment. The depth of that insight is truly profound when you decide to act upon it and make it a part of who you are on a daily basis.

The way horses have taught me to act upon the present is by realizing how to instantly let go of all emotions and thoughts that don’t serve me or the horse right in this moment and instead focusing entirely on developing the thoughts and emotions that connect us and support the bond between us.

This doesn’t mean that I can’t work towards a goal in the future. On the contrary, it opens my mind to new solutions. It means that I take responsibility for my emotions and control them in a way that I get to consciously choose which emotions I want to feel in order to support reaching my goal.

Many riders feel frustrated or angry when they come across obstacles or resistance that block the way to achieving their goals. Sometimes this frustration or anger can be displaced upon the horse as we look to blame ourselves or somebody else for the problems or situation we are experiencing.

The problem is, when we blame external circumstances or forces, we are unable to take charge of them. The real problem is not actually external but internal, found in our minds and how we’re thinking.

As Clinton Anderson says: “Where knowledge ends, frustration begins.”

I’m pretty sure somebody else said that before him, but it’s still a true statement.

I would make a change to that statement and say, “Where awareness ends, frustrations begins.”

When we are unaware of how we are behaving, what energy we are sending out, how are bodies are moving and what emotions we allow to run the ship, it becomes difficult to rise to the level of the solution and we lose connection with the horse because we are so blinded by the wrong problem.

Taking charge of our emotions allows us to become present with the horse and switch into a mindset of curiosity, creativity and discovery, turning the perceived problem into a form of play and excitement which is only possible when we choose to feel differently.

From this mindset it is much easier to find the actual solution to the external problem. But, the important lesson is that finding the solution starts by recognizing that most problems are caused by having an inflexible mindset, staying stuck in a chronic feeling of frustration instead of allowing things to flow and allowing solutions to pop up by themselves when our minds are open and receiving.

We can’t control external circumstances, but we can control how we choose to respond emotionally to them.

If somebody flatters you, you can choose to be flattered. If somebody insults you, you can choose to be insulted…but you can also choose something entirely different and change the whole situation.

When training isn’t going as you expect it, you can choose to fall into despair and frustration and allow the situation to control you, keep you stuck in a never-ending cycle of unmatched expectations, disappointment and frustration or, LOL… you can choose to feel differently, take the mindset of a treasure hunt and stay open to what gifts you may find on the way.

When I’m training a horse, I come out with a specific goal in mind but I always allow for the unexpected to show me new and better things as I work towards my goal.

Sometimes this takes me in a completely different direction. Other times, it just allows me to get creative with the solution.

It’s a much more fun way to train than hyper focusing on one thing, expecting one outcome, not accomplishing it and then feeling frustrated or angry and coming back the next day and repeating the same unproductive pattern.

In the creative process, we also need to develop a certain level of tolerance towards frustration. Not by falling into apathy and succumbing to the feeling, but by diving deeper into the journey head first, into the adventurous mindset of what may be around the corner if we don’t allow ourselves to get stuck in growing levels of frustration.

Somebody else said: “Think the thought until you believe it, and once you believe it, it is.”

When we get stuck in frustration, we tend to think certain types of thoughts that lead us further down the rabbit hole. When we change the emotion, our thoughts change to fit the new emotion. Ergo, negative emotions equal negative thoughts. Positive emotions equal positive thoughts and the latter equals the possibility of new and inspiring solutions.

Taking charge of your emotions also allows you to stay calm in moments of difficulty. It allows you to not be affected by how the horse is behaving. It allows you to think clearly and connect with the horse from a pure sense of being without judgement or preconceived ideas. It allows you to become a place of leadership and safety for your horse where they can find peace of mind, guidance and connection.

Horses need connection as much as we do. They just can’t find it with you if you’re too busy being frustrated.

Overthinking and over analyzing everything outside of your control won’t give you more control.

Everything is a choice when it comes to how you wish to feel, succumb to your emotions or take control of your life and build a better experience. Let the horse take you on a journey into discovering what is truly possible by taking charge of your emotions and getting creative.

Ride with Lightness
Celie xo

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